Not made of money

Student: Teachers make a lot of money.

Me: They do?

Student: Ya, my mom said teachers make more then 300 dollars.

Me: Yes, that is true.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Student K: I want to be a model or a heart surgeon.

Me: Why can't you do both?

Student K: ... My Beeper... I can't wear it and model.

New School Year. 6th Grade.

So I have left my first grade teaching position behind, to give sixth grade English/Language Arts a try. So far, so hysterical. I teach at a diverse school (about 60% hispanic, 20% African American and 20% Caucasian). I have 2 sections of boys and 1 section of girls.

Day one assignment: Write an interesting fact about yourself.

P: I am good Looking!!!

A: I know how to catch corockadiles.

E: I liek bog and cat

M: if I get mad i will hit the one who got me mad [The i's were dotted with hearts]

B: I love Justin Bieber and DJ Blend, I also love long hair, I love dancing and singing, I love being crazy and hang out with my friends, I love hobos, I love tripping over my shoes and then call my mom cheap.

J: When I grow up I want to be like Selena Gomez. People know me as 'Fluffy'. I also like to write stories and get straight A's.

P: Before I go party I have to look cute and pretty.

N: I want to be the first person to discover what dark matter is. I also know a lot adout spaces. more then thing els.

Only 7 more days left...

Student: I only like a little bit of colors.

Me: Oh, which ones do you like?

Student: All the colors in the whole wide world.

Student 2: My birthday is soon!

Me: Oh, when is your birthday?

Student 2: November 8th!!!!!

Student 3: My sister is having a birthday on October the oneth

Me: October what?

Student: October the oneth.

Me: Oh, October FIRST...how exciting!

Writing Prompt of the day: Which superpower would you most like to have? Describe what you would do with your powers.

Student D:

If I had a favorite super power that I can do it would be shooting webs out my hands. Because I can tie my mommy and my sister up. Because I can tie my teacher up and then we can go to lunch. And so I can tie up my stuff when I am moving. And when I'm moving to M's house because I know where he lives at. So i can grab on to a web and go to Texas baby! And spiders will think that I am spider man. And so when I ask J to play tag with me my web will grab on to tree and she won't catch me. That's why I want the super power of shooting a web out of my hand.

Student K:

If I had a superpower I would have cake power. This is what I want because I can make a cake for my mom and dad. I can make T a cake and my friends and grandma a cake. I won't make the evil witch a cake. I can get a cake for you. That is why I want cake power.

Student S:

If I had superpowers it would be ice powers. Because if my food was really really hot I would use my ice powers to cool it down. It is the best because sometimes stuff is hot. I am only using ice power for emergcy. Thats why super powers are fun. I really want ice powers.

Student A:

If I would have a super power I would be super smart. I will have a race with Ms. Major and get finished in first place on math. And I would do a big paper of adding and taking away and I will get really super smart. I can help people who do not no how to spell a word. That's why I want to be super smart.

Do you think a monkey would make a good pet?

Student Responses for a persuasive essay on monkeys making good pets or not.

Student D:

A monkey would not make a good pet. A monkey would not make a good pet because there crazy, ruff, and wild. A monkey would not make a good pet because theyl mess up the house and your mom would think that you had a party and you messed the house up. There mean too. Theyl slap you and your mother. They might follow you to school and break the rules. That's why a monkey would not make a good pet.

Student A:

I think a monkey will be a great pet because it will do my homework and it will do what my mom tells me to do. And I can put the monkey in some close (clothes) and some makeup. I can put some nail, eye lashes and earring on the monkey too. It can play hide and go see with me and then we will play apple sticks and it can be my best friend.

Student J:

I think a monkey would make a great pet because it will help my mommy wash the dishes. And help me with my homework. And be nice to my friends. And buy me a phone. And i love pets because they are cute and lovely. And I can teach them how to do tricks. And I can hug it and kiss it and love it. And I will teach my monkey how to eat food and it can love me. Thats why a monkey would make a good pet.

Student T:

I think a monkey would make a great pet! Because it will let me lay on it like a pillow. Then it will do my homework whyle I'm playing my game. Then it will carry me to my room. Then when my mom tells to do to something he can do it. Then we can play cops. Then it will make a good wild pet.

BF/GF

Me: Do you have a girlfriend?

Student: Yes.

Me: Who is it?

Student: Its personal.

....

Me: Is it K?

Student: No, she's too short.

Me: Is it T?

Student: No, she's too tall. She's out of my league.

7 year olds with cell phones

Today's writing prompt: write a persuasive essay telling your mom why she needs to buy you a cell phone.

Student: I already have a cell phone!

Me: Okay, then don't you want an iphone... write about that!

Funniest response:

Mom. Can you get me a iPhone? Because if I get lost in the wildnest (wilderness*) I'll get gobbled up by a 50 pound tiger. Then when you try to call me you will know that I don't have a phone and poof you are going to have to take me to the emergency room. Then I will be in a wheal chair. Then you will have to help me in the bus. Then you will be in a wheal chair too. That is why I need a phone so I can call you before the tiger comes and gets me.

P.S. Or I can use it to call the pizza man when I am hungry.