The wall licker.

Standing at recess this acorn hits me, I look up to see my student who licks walls, turn and run away, I knew he had to be the culprit.

Me: Did you just throw this at me.

Wall Licker: Yes.

Me: Why?

Wall Licker: Because my belt (points to belt).

MLK

Me: What do you know about Martin Luther King, Jr?

Student: He was shot.

Student 2: He was shot by Harriet Tubman.

If you don't recall who Harriet Tubman is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harriet_Tubman

My special education student bit another student today. When I sent him to the "Take a Break Lake" I asked him to draw what he did and why it was wrong. This is his drawing:

Me: What were you doing that was wrong?

Student (Pointing to top picture): Biting other student.

Me: Why is this wrong.

Student (Pointing to the bottom picture): Because he will die.

Booty

The most punk-ass kid of my class comes out of the bathroom crying and says:

My booty burns.

Student 1: I have rocawear jeans.

Student 2: Where did you buy them Walmart or Kroger?

Student 1: I don't know, I got them for my birthday.

Write your own sentence

Students were asked to write their own sentences if they finished their work early... these are some of the gems I received from the students who can actually write...

I am pretty and my mom?

The lamp is fix and my bad is fix.

At Recess

Student: I don't have any friends. The grass is my only friend.