Dear Santa...

We wrote letters to Santa. This is my favorite. Written verbatim.

Dear Santa.

Its me D____ H____. I have been a good boy this year! Yay me! I want a book, nintendo dsi and a remot kntrol. Pleas give Rudolf a karrot.

From,

Good Boy

D______ H______

D.J. Thats my nick name.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

The best parts of being a teacher:

1. Christmas and Summer Vacation

2. Christmas presents.

The top of the top Christmas presents included:

- Snow Globe

- Sentimental Plate that says "Things are possible to those who believe"

- Fleece Throw

- Hand Soap

- Lotion

- Photo Album

- Chocolate gift basket

Best Christmas Card inscription: "Thank you for giving me that back pack? I gave you a gift"

Santa and Jesus

Student: Is Santa and Jesus the same person?

Santa

I took some of my students to get a picture with Santa Claus... we passed the picture around class today (I wish I could post it here).

Student: That's not the real Santa.

Me: Yes it is!

Student: No, the real Santa is black.

Season's Greetings

Me: Raise your hand if you celebrate Kwanza.

Only one child raised his hand... the only white student out of my 22 students.

Taking a class picture with Santa

M: Ms. Major, can you hold my hand, Santa scares me.

Don't worry... not my student.

At recess a study comes running up to me holding his chest.

Student: Ms. Major, my brain is thumping.

Me: Your brain?

Student: Yes, by brain is thumping [points to heart]

One from a parent.

After a student was absent for four days, I called home to see what was up.

Me: I was just calling to check up on W.

W's Mother: He'll be at school tomorrow, he was unable to have a bal movement.

Dissin'

Student: M was checking me. She called me hard-knock.

Me: I have no idea what that means.

To check (v) - to make fun of, diss

hard-knock - some sort of diss

Calling someone "country" is also a diss.

Male student, crying: I didn't want to come to school today. I just want to go to church.

Compliments

When two male students were calling each other ugly, I made them give each other compliments.

Student 1: "Student 2, you are beautiful."

Student 2: "Student 1, your nose is cute."

Later in the day...

Student 2: "Can I give some other people compliments?"

Scarecrows

After learning about scarecrows, I let my students color this picture.

Student: "This scarecrow looks like Michael Jackson."

Painting Self Portraits

While painting self-portraits...

Student: Ms. Major, how do they paint inside the lines like Abraham Lincoln?

Summer of the Monkeys

I am reading Summer of the Monkey's to my students. We were talking about the different ways we would catch a monkey.

Student 1: A butterfly net.

Student 2: A fishing rod.

Student 3: A trail of their favorite food.

Student 4: Bananas.

Student 5: I'd sneak up behind it and grab it.

Student 6: I'd sit up in a tree and then jump on it.

Student 7: I'd put it in a cage.

Yellow Peas

Student: "Ms. Major, these yellow peas are delicious!"

Me: "Thats corn."

The wall licker.

Standing at recess this acorn hits me, I look up to see my student who licks walls, turn and run away, I knew he had to be the culprit.

Me: Did you just throw this at me.

Wall Licker: Yes.

Me: Why?

Wall Licker: Because my belt (points to belt).

MLK

Me: What do you know about Martin Luther King, Jr?

Student: He was shot.

Student 2: He was shot by Harriet Tubman.

If you don't recall who Harriet Tubman is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harriet_Tubman

My special education student bit another student today. When I sent him to the "Take a Break Lake" I asked him to draw what he did and why it was wrong. This is his drawing:

Me: What were you doing that was wrong?

Student (Pointing to top picture): Biting other student.

Me: Why is this wrong.

Student (Pointing to the bottom picture): Because he will die.

Booty

The most punk-ass kid of my class comes out of the bathroom crying and says:

My booty burns.

Student 1: I have rocawear jeans.

Student 2: Where did you buy them Walmart or Kroger?

Student 1: I don't know, I got them for my birthday.

Write your own sentence

Students were asked to write their own sentences if they finished their work early... these are some of the gems I received from the students who can actually write...

I am pretty and my mom?

The lamp is fix and my bad is fix.

At Recess

Student: I don't have any friends. The grass is my only friend.

My shoe did it.

Me: Student, did you just kick that boy?

Student: No, my shoe did.

Me: Why did your shoe kick that boy?

Student: It was tired.

TGIF

I have never looked forward to the weekend like I have these past few weeks.

Apparently, my students love the weekend as much as I do.

Student: Thank the baby Jesus that its a three day weekend!

In other funny happenings:

Male Student: I don't like that hat because there is no pink on it.

Same Male Student: You look like Kim Kardashian.

Lunchtime

My students eat lunch in my classroom which always provides for some good laughs.

I bet this story is funnier when I tell it with my impersonations of the kids.... but here is one of my favorites:

Student 1: What is peanut butter made of?

Me: Peanuts.

All the students: ewwwww

Student 1: Where do peanuts come from?

Me: The grow in the ground.

All the students: ewwwww

Student 2: What is butter made of?

Me: Milk

All the students: ewwww

Student 3: What are rainbows made of?

Me: Something magical.

All the students: ewwww

Oh, Brother!

I told my class that my brother was going to come into class on Friday and visit if they behaved this week.

Student M: Is he white?

Classroom photos

My classroom photos as promised. My homemade white board.

The Math Brain Train, add a suit case for every assessment you score 80% or higher on. The "Take a Break Lake" or time-out. My Reading to New Height reading tracker, watch your hot air balloon rise as you become a better reader.

The First Grade

I survived my first week of teaching the first grade. I have 13 students so far and need 7 more to be a capacity. My classroom is about the size of my dorm room (pictures to come soon).

Here are just some of the things that my little cherubs have said this week:

Me: Can you give me a word that starts with r and ends with t?

Student D: Rat.

Student J: Turtle.

The students love my hair. At recess they want to play beauty shop instead of running around.

Student H: How did you get your hair so long?

Me: I grew it out.

Student H: All by yourself?

ABCs

As the end of summer institute draws to a close, we need to assess our cherubs to see how much their brains have grown. I take them one at a time out of the classroom and show them ABC flash cards, they need to tell me the letter name, the sound the letter makes and a word that begins with that letter... here are some of my favorite responses from today:

Holding up the letter l:

Student: Thats a one.

Me: What sound does it make?

Student: wha wha

Me: What word starts with this letter.

Student: nothing.

Letter P name, Student J: That's a zero.

Letter T name, Student J: Airplane.

Word that begins with A, Student: Akon (That one's for you Dad!)

Word that begins with M, Student: Madagascar

Braves

Holding up a picture of the letter L, Me: What letter is this, Student K?

Student K: I am going to a Braves game.

Later in the day, after the read aloud of Llama Llama Red Pajama, Me: How was the baby llama feeling in this book, Student K?

Student K: I am going to a Braves game.

Even later still, in free centers.

Student K: Ms. Major, Ms. Major....

Me: Yes, Student K

Student K: I am going to a Braves game.

When I grow up...

While playing with my students...

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Male Student: A hair dresser

Student then proceeds to pretend curl my hair with his marker.

Tickle Monster

While playing on the playground:

Female Student: There is a monster chasing me!

Me: What are going to do about it?

Female Student: Well I'd kill it but I don't have a gun.

Talking about favorite foods, Student: Ms. Major, do you eat ghosts?

Ms. Major, Ms. Major

Teaching a lesson on Capital T.

Student comes up, with urgency and says: Ms. Major, Ms. Major, I have a mohawk.

This student has a shaved head.

Leaving class today:

Student: Ms. Major, Ms. Major, I love you!

Store

I asked my students what things they buy when they go to the store:

Student 1: Cupcakes

Student 2: Beer

Whats in a blog...

I have created this blog to share my student's (pre-k, 3 year olds) quotes that make me smile. I am already in to my second week of teaching here in Atlanta and am so far behind on telling you the hilarious things that they say. Here are some of my favorites....

After coming in from recess, sweat glistening off of one students head, he says: "Ms. Major can i get a paper towel, my head's a cooker!"

Student: Ms. Major how old are you?

Me: How old do I look?

Student: 8!

In science class, I showed this picture and asked a student what it was a picture of.

Student: Cereal!